How to test your new marriage (and where I’ve been for the past six months)

test your new marriage

If you regularly follow this blog (or just glance through the dates I’ve posted stuff), you might be wondering why there have been no new posts for many, many months.

The good news is, I haven’t died. Nor have I relegated Lace & Feathers to the land of permanently abandoned blogs languishing in various corners of the Internet wasteland. It’s just been, uh, resting. Which is exactly what I haven’t been doing.

If you’re looking for a way to test the strength of your new marriage, I have been personally road testing a pretty surefire method over the past 3 – 6 months. All you need to do is follow these steps to place you and your marriage under a reasonable (but not completely unbearable) load of stress in order to bring any simmering tensions to the surface for examination:

1. Travel overseas to a foreign destination for your honeymoon. Have a lovely time.

2. Return home and house-sit someone else’s place for three months. Learn to adjust to living together. Meanwhile,

3. Begin renovation work on your soon-to-be new home. This renovation involves converting a double garage into a granny flat apartment space. Note: aforementioned garage is on the property of your in-laws. Meanwhile,

4. Commence studying yet another university degree part time, and drop from full time work (with full time salary) down to part time work. One of your subjects is chemistry, a hellish subject that you just barely scraped a pass in during your first degree (science), and which takes up enormous chunks of your time as you desperately try to understand the content. Meanwhile,

5. When the garage is still nowhere close to a liveable state but your house-sitting period is over, move from your temporary three-bedroom house and into the tiny guest bedroom in your in-laws’ house. The majority of your possessions are stored haphazardly in boxes stacked along the hallway that leads to your brother-in-law’s room, and in the tiny room that’s just outside the guest bedroom door. The guest room is only just big enough to fit your bed and a rail for hanging a few clothes. You can kind of walk around the room by shuffling sideways between bed/wall and bed/clothing rail, but it’s a challenge.

6. Juggle renovation work on the garage, studying for uni and working, all while living with almost zero space, zero privacy, and very little control over many aspects of your day-to-day life. After about six weeks of this living arrangement, you may move into the half-completed garage/flat downstairs and continue to renovate it from there.

That’s it!

Suffice to say, with all of this going on, blogging was the last thing on my mind. Unlike a lot of other bloggers who use blogging as their fun method of stress release, for me, it’s a creative project that requires effort. It’s enjoyable, obviously (otherwise why on Earth would I be doing this?), but still a kind of work. So when there’s too much other stuff going on and I need to relax, I’ll go for more passive activities that require no effort: watching TV, browsing the Internet, dreaming of travel.

Thankfully our marriage is still very much intact and passed the test! The only casualty in the whole process was chemistry, which I dropped after it just became too much to handle, and I’ll have to take it again next year, when hopefully I’ll be more prepared and have fewer other distractions. We’re happily living in our granny flat, enjoying the space and low rent.

And I want to start blogging again.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s